Everyone knows about the Bucket List. You write out all the goals you wish to accomplish before you kick the proverbial bucket. While the eponymous movie is a bit meh, there is science supporting the benefits of creating one. Stanford researchers studied bucket lists as a tool for creating care plans, as well as educating and connecting with their patients (link). In the process, they identified several ways the bucket list can be a helpful tool. For one, they direct us to think of the future with a sense of hope. It gives us a timeline. Through creating the list, the writer is forced to consider what constitutes a life worth living in their eyes.
A textbook Virgo, I have always been a proficient goal setter. I never miss the opportunity to craft a compilation of New Year’s resolutions, for example. Consider December 26th, 2001 when 14 year old me drafted my goals for 2002. In addition to “exercise every day” and “start dressing better”, I also wanted to “stop making everyone else listen to Good Charlotte”. Overall, the theme here is to get hot for “Warped Tour this summer” and “Meet the GC guys.” Just imagine if I had succeeded in my goals. Benji and/or Joel Madden probably wouldn’t have been able to resist after I (42) dyed my hair pink, (22) got contacts and (18) stopped picking at my nails and face.
By 2010, at the age of 22, I was ready to move on from the puritanical lists of my youth aimed at correcting my moral failings and wooing musicians. Instead, I crafted a list bursting with outlandish dreams, useless skills to learn and silliness. There are some practical things on there too, but overall it is a brain dump of things that sounded fun at the time.
The majority of the list are what I categorized as Novel Experiences:
“Have my tarot cards read.”
“Go to a soccer game.”
“Have a tintype photo taken of myself.”
“Take a guided tour of my city.”
The second is Education and Skills:
“Get my Bachelor’s in History.”
“Learn to identify 10 constellations.”
“Change a tire.”
The third largest category is “Random.” This is a category that must have been influenced by my desire to be a quirky Manic Pixie Dream Girl.
“Order a veggie burger. With bacon.”
“Go undercover for a day (alias, accent, sunglasses).”
“Take photos of apt and caption like an Ikea catalog.”
Every so often, I come across the list. I usually can check off another goal I’ve stumbled into achieving. I cringe at some of the more, um, whimsical goals before deeming it a product of its time and tucking it back away. The reality though is the list is always in the back of my head. There is still the pressure to achieve the hundreds of goals I’ve set for myself, whether it’s lofty items or mundane. So here’s the biggest lesson I learned from revisiting my Bucket List.
It’s okay to remove things from the list.
When I was in my bullet journaling phase, I learned a productivity idea where if something has been on your list for an exceedingly long time, consider whether you can just… not do it. Turns out, I no longer really want to learn a foreign language. Frankly, I’ve never needed to change a tire either and would probably not remember how to do it anyway if I broke down. Sure, these would be nice things to know but are there better ways to direct my energies these days? Removing the clutter from my list frees me to focus the goals I’m most interested in pursuing - improving my physical health and finishing my novel.
Leave room for life to surprise you.
In one of my transcripts of the 2010 Bucket List, I’ve tacked on an epilogue - my Reverse Bucket List. I’ve done so many things that weren’t on that list. I don’t know if I just assumed they would happen, assumed they could never happen or just didn’t think about them period.
Don’t prescribe how or when the goal will be achieved.
I often think of my mother, who wanted to be either a teacher or a nurse. She ended up doing both - teaching nursing students - after going back to school as a single mom in her 40’s.
Behold the micro adventure.
This deserves more space to expand, but the idea being to embrace the opportunities to explore and adventure in your backyard. Sure, hiking in the Alps sounds great but so does learning the names of trees at my local park.
A few things I’m enjoying at the moment…
Kimchi Grilled Cheese. Link takes you to a beautiful version I have never tried. But like, you just need bread, 2 Kraft singles (superior melting, fight me), butter and a few forkfuls of kimchi. Best to get it from the top of the container so it’s not too watery. Try not to burn sandwich unless you’re into that sort of thing. Done. Delicious. Sophisticated.
Observe the neon cheese and water spotted pan. I used all my iphone photography skills here.
Had an opportunity this week to hear the amazing Chynna Clayton speak on her experience as Michelle Obama’s right hand woman. Super inspiring.
I keep hoping when I grow up I will be as cool as Sabrina Carpenter but I am growing a little concerned that at 36 it is not going to happen? Anyway, here is a little underground song you may not have heard.
Till next time.
G
Ummm hello Pillow Thought! I LOVE this Gabriella. You are very much inspiring me to dream a little bigger and add a few things to my bucket list. I appreciate the point you made of giving yourself permission to remove items from the list. I often feel the only way to remove an item is by giving it a "check mark" but that's just not realistic. I will now cross off the expired items. So excited to see you here and learn a little more about you through your writing. xx
I am biased as your husband but this is great - a part from you bashing the cinematic masterpiece that is ‘The Bucket List’